I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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