I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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