Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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