dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize