do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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