apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize