And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
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