god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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