i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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