the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
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Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
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you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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