some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
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He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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