exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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