My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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