OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize