all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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