Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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