bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize