Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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