32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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