i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
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Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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