Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize