they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
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And the cops told us we were all naked.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Randomize