Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
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He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
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Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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