dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize