I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize