i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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