i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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