just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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