OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize