Im at strip club and am horny
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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