Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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