party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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