Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
a search helicopter?!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize