my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize