This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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