whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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