Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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