He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize