And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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