I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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