maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize