I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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