Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
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When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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