so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
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