butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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