Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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