I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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