another moral hangover. fuck.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
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TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
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you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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