ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
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I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
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You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize