The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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